1. My birth certificate is in German.
2. I was born with a congenital deformity of the bones in my legs. I was forced to wear metal braces on them until I was almost 2 years old.
3. Once, when I was younger, a girl chased me down the block holding only a slice of meatloaf.
4. I believe my huge Pez collection will finance my children’s college education.
5. I have lived in Alaska and have never skied in my life.
6. I married the same man twice.
7. I have squeezed over 25,000 breasts.
8. I would rather go bottomless than topless.
9. I am an Empath. Which, in certain situations translates into social retard.
10. Musicals get me extremely agitated.
11. I have a fantasy of becoming a professional ice dancer. Complete with ball-hugging-spandex-wearin’ partner. (Last season I had choreographed routines to all 3 Roller Rebels team's intro songs.)
12. I can’t remember the last day I haven’t laughed.
13. I’m a straight shooter. I will never blow smoke up your ass.
14. I believe that one can have may soul mates, but only one partner at a time.
15. My decision to use the name Eve L. Taco had nothing to do with vaginas (just an added bonus).
16. I am a travel-size, hotel shower cap, table condiment whore.
17. I didn’t really make a fuss when I broke my leg, but I cried like a bitch when somebody skated over my hand in Steel City….twice.
18. It took over 8 months for my derby blisters to go away, but 1 ½ hours to get them back. And I loved every second of it.
19. I never let my children watch me compete - too violent.
20. If I was a guy, I would have the most amazing facial hair-always shaving it into different patterns and shapes.
21. I value distinct, unique features, over all-around physical beauty.
22. No matter where I live, I always grow a garden.
23. I prefer to be independent, but I was made to be a mother.
24. I’m pretty certain that most girls don’t join roller derby leagues and become bookkeepers.
25. Bret Michaels saved my life.
