This wonderful woman has been with the Rebels for three years. Some call her a skater, others a friend, I call her a hero. With not much help at all, she took on the position of Treasurer for the league and completely overhauled our bookkeeping system and net worth! She suffered one of the worst leg brakes I've ever heard about during a practice and took it like a champ! Best of all, she can marry all of you. Read on to learn more about this Ordained Minister and amazing mother of three. Ladies and Gentleman, I introduce to you our favorite Mexican treat, Eve L. Taco!
1. My birth certificate is in German.
2. I was born with a congenital deformity of the bones in my legs. I was forced to wear metal braces on them until I was almost 2 years old.
3. Once, when I was younger, a girl chased me down the block holding only a slice of meatloaf.
4. I believe my huge Pez collection will finance my children’s college education.
5. I have lived in Alaska and have never skied in my life.
6. I married the same man twice.
7. I have squeezed over 25,000 breasts.
8. I would rather go bottomless than topless.
9. I am an Empath. Which, in certain situations translates into social retard.
10. Musicals get me extremely agitated.
11. I have a fantasy of becoming a professional ice dancer. Complete with ball-hugging-spandex-wearin’ partner. (Last season I had choreographed routines to all 3 Roller Rebels team's intro songs.)
12. I can’t remember the last day I haven’t laughed.
13. I’m a straight shooter. I will never blow smoke up your ass.
14. I believe that one can have may soul mates, but only one partner at a time.
15. My decision to use the name Eve L. Taco had nothing to do with vaginas (just an added bonus).
16. I am a travel-size, hotel shower cap, table condiment whore.
17. I didn’t really make a fuss when I broke my leg, but I cried like a bitch when somebody skated over my hand in Steel City….twice.
18. It took over 8 months for my derby blisters to go away, but 1 ½ hours to get them back. And I loved every second of it.
19. I never let my children watch me compete - too violent.
20. If I was a guy, I would have the most amazing facial hair-always shaving it into different patterns and shapes.
21. I value distinct, unique features, over all-around physical beauty.
22. No matter where I live, I always grow a garden.
23. I prefer to be independent, but I was made to be a mother.
24. I’m pretty certain that most girls don’t join roller derby leagues and become bookkeepers.
25. Bret Michaels saved my life.