I used to own a T-shirt with a pulp character of a woman on it. There was a speech bubble over her head, which read “I used to be indecisive, now I’m not sure”. This pretty much summed me up in one sentence. Frankly said, decision-making has not been my forte over the years.
Last week my boyfriend and I hung out after one of his Jiu Jitsu classes. Often times at the end of his class, his Renshi gives a bit of a life lesson. If you’ve been reading my blog for a while now, you will know that I’m pretty big on this stuff. I am admittedly, slightly corny, but hey, that’s me. Anyway, Renshi’s words of wisdom for that day were that often times in life we find ourselves confused and the reason for that is due to lack of making a decision. This can sometimes lead to anger, unhappiness and arguments. His theory is that once you make a decision and go with it, you will no longer be confused and thus will feel better.
I was really happy to have learned this. I know some of you are saying, "Etta, that’s SO simple, how could you not already have known that!?!?" Well, sometimes it’s the very simple theories or lessons that I tend to overlook and being such a pro at indecisiveness, this wasn’t the easiest thing for me to grasp. After all, some decisions are really difficult, right?
A few things have come up in the last few months that have made me question whether or not I wanted to play derby this upcoming season. I was definitely confused. I knew I still wanted to be involved with the league, but wasn’t sure to what capacity. To play or not to play? Not an easy choice let me tell you. After mulling it over and over and over, I decided to give this decision making thing a try. It was simple, make a decision, go with it and the confusion will be no more. After re-evaluating my issues; unexplained back pain for months, increase in expenses and finally, many new creative projects that would require a lot of time, I decided to take this season off. I typed up an email to Captain Morgan letting her know that I’ve decided not to play, but would like to continue on coaching and being a PR committee member and of course, writing the blog. I read the e-mail, re-read it and re-read it again and with some trepidation pushed the send button. Panic hit for a brief moment, but then after thinking about it some more, I was happy with my decision. I will still be a part of the league, I can give my back some time to heal, work on my new projects and I can always return to play again some day. The decision was made, the confusion ended and I was calm.
After this experience, which I understand, may seem very silly to many of you, I decided to become a better and more firm decision maker. And when my thoughts are on that see-saw of do or don't and they are having trouble getting off of it, my close friends can feel free to remind me of my decision to make decisions.
I am lucky to be a part of a league that is a family. While being part of this family made my decision to not play all the more difficult, it also felt great to know that I can continue to participate and be a part of this wonderfully rewarding sport!
Thanks to my Roller Rebels for all that you do!